I’m a 42 year old single mom who is very attractive (I look about 7 years younger), fun, has a great smile and laugh (and does both a LOT), emotionally stable, and not looking to race to the altar.And I definitely fit the definition of a “cool chick” – and my guy friends will confirm:-).” Unfortunately, the pool of men that I’m dating from (early to mid 40s, usually divorced) are pretty messed up.
A number of gentlemen I’ve met shouldn’t have been dating at all because they are still grieving.
And the most surprising phenomenon that I’ve witnessed in this pool of men is that being a pretty, happy, vivacious “cool chick” is a big negative strike against me.
I’m amazed at how many of them fall for the psycho Bs and drama queens.
My last (short-term – I can’t find one healthy enough to become long term!
) boyfriend told me I was the first mentally healthy woman he dated in 3 years.
But although I had everything he wanted in a woman, he didn’t feel any “chemistry” for me – so he went back to a younger woman who had serious enough issues that she lost custody of her kids.And he is not the only guy I’ve encountered like this.Another date, who didn’t feel chemistry with me but we became friends, I’ve watched him fall for all the women who don’t want to give him the time of day.He gets his butt kicked time and again and then cries on my shoulder.I’ve tried all the big dating websites and I go out a lot (that is another weird phenomenon – men my age sit home on the weekends and don’t go out and do anything so I never meet anyone by just going out and having fun).So Evan where can I find the emotionally available mentally healthy men who will appreciate a woman like me? Joan A very honest letter, Joan, which is particularly timely, given yesterday’s thematically similar posting. Now, by your estimation, there are no men out there who are either a) interested or b) qualified for a long-term relationship. And let’s delve into the assertion that “being a pretty, happy, vivacious ‘cool chick’ is a big negative strike against you. What is true is that your options are unfairly limited.