We are more connected than ever to the idea of people by way of social networks and less connected than ever to actual living breathing people.
No matter how appealing a guy or girl may seem to be online, how attractive the photos, how witty the online write-up, or how much you have in common (Monty Python or artisanal mozzarella-making, anybody?
) there is no substitute for a face-to-face meeting.2) Sloooww things down. If it is a long-term relationship that you seek, ease off on the "second-or-third-date rule" and really get to know somebody before getting intimate.
Jumping the gun too early, so to speak, can cause a promising relationship to fizzle rather than sizzle. Yes, this is super cheesy, but desire maketh the heart grow stronger.
The greatest artwork in human history has been inspired by longing.
Would the French love of poetry of the Middle Ages ever have come about if the troubadours had hooked up right after the first Appletini? If you find yourself googling "Does my boyfriend/girlfriend like me? It is better to be alone than be with somebody and be lonely.5) Bag the texting and Facebooking.
Would we have Champagne or flamenco guitar or five-course candlelit meals without romantic longing? It is important to be silly, to be vulnerable, and to be real with people we love or in whom we are at least interested. Fear not the voice of your fellow man or woman on the telephone. This handy telecommunications device can be quite handy. Texting and Facebooking shouldn't become the sole method of communication, as there are only so many responses to an emoticon, only so many creative responses to "hey" and "hey, how are you?We need to learn to give without the expectation of return. "Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers had to carry their own water or grow and can their own food or take care of seven kids and walk seven miles to school in seven feet of snow and do homework by candlelight in the evening.This can be difficult stuff, especially in a transactional dating culture permeated by disposability and snark. While "friends with benefits" and other riffs on the casual relationship ad infinitum may work for some, they are an epic fail for many others. Unless both partners are of stratospheric maturity levels, somebody ends up being hurt. Usually, this will be the person who is, perhaps foolishly, waiting for a deeper commitment from somebody willing to give it "after work slows down," or "after football season," or "after my highlights grow out," or some other cockamamie reason.