Little irritating things will start to emerge, and Matt will begin to pull away, or get annoyed. For a couple of reasons: Sara will have done a good job of healing Matt's wounds, and he now needs other things from a relationship that Sara may or may not be able to provide.He may also be coming out of his grief—he’s waking up, so to speak, and can see Sara in a more realistic and complete way, warts and all.And finally, the downside of his simplistic theory takes hold: The things about criticism and withdrawal—perhaps his moodiness, unreliability, or difficulty opening up—now come to the surface with Sara.
effects of dating on children after divorce - The rebound guy dating
What this means is that he needs to realize that grief and loneliness and the punch in the gut are normal aspects of ending relationships.
He needs to learn to handle these feelings, rather than running from them or smothering them.
Rather than clinging to a Sara, he needs to reach out to his friends for support, or get involved with his work or other activities that give him a sense of purpose, focus, and accomplishment.
They had been together for a year, but the last few months, in his mind, were all downhill. But now he’s met Sara and, wow, what a difference: She's lively and funny, laid back and complimentary. Anatomy of a Rebound You’ve likely met people like Matt; you may have fallen into a rebound relationship yourself.
Matt’s a "rebounder"—he can’t seem to be unattached and on his own for more than a few days.
At one time, Cindy was "The One." That was right after his breakup with Laura.
It’s alluring: Once a relationship is over, there's a void in your life.
Regardless of the quality of the past relationship, there’s loss and grief because the psychological attachment is broken.
And at these early stages of grief, it’s easy to have tunnel vision: You dwell on what was wrong in the relationship—what hurt and wounded you. Her liveliness and positive feedback is what he focuses on. And her company pushes aside the loneliness; he feels great.